How things can change
Some thoughts about time, change & fear
We all know the course of times.
Things change, cities develop and people in the middle of everything. Technology is advancing and Internet shall unburden distance and connect us all. Time seems to be running as sand runs through our hands. And yet, sand is everything we got to build our sand castle.
How can people resist this change of time? How is it possible for some to become comfortable and stop thinking about improving, simplifying and sweetening life?
It’s about much more than just standing still. There is a fear of change and the unknown. Everything is good right now. Why does anything have to change? However, it goes on. Others go on; and if you don’t go along, are you just standing watching and waving at the grand parade as it goes by or is there a judging thought on your mind? Would you rather just take a risk and join the parade?
So, are you an observer who waves? Are you an observer who is looking at the change, wondering whether or not you should take part in it? Or are you the person judging from the outside on something you actually have no understanding of?
Sometimes people are unaware that judging can be worse than just watching even hurting. How often do we walk through the streets and see those eyes of incomprehension, fear, and curiosity? While some are standing in the whirlwind and wondering how everything can happen so quickly, others will be the pioneers of our time, taking on the challenges ahead of them, risking and sometimes failing, but standing back up and trying again.
Those that embrace change, they are taking a risk, and risks are an essential part of life. I’m not talking about gambling, as that is risk with no control. I am talking about educated risk, where you weigh up your options, wait and wait for the right time, and once you’ve realised there is no right time, decide that you are going to go for it.
Never forget, every idea, every invention, every piece of technology you see, or have seen, was once a dream in someone’s head. The difference between the changers and the judgers is that the changers act on their dreams, and the judgers try to squash them.
Sophie’s never-ending journey
Last week, I was talking to my friend Sophie. She is different to other people, but she has a story to tell as we all do; everybody carries their baggage.
“I am travelling to a city full of strangers. After a while though, strangers were not strange to me anymore. Oppositely, the people, the culture, the far, the nature amazingly pretty at different times of the day, everything becomes part of our own personality. People passing by and smiling. They all look different. And some things I cannot understand; naked feet in the streets, tattoos at all possible places on human bodies, breast-long beards and hair as colourful as the rainbow, clothes from the 16th century and only on question on my mind: ‘Why?’ I wonder about their journey and what has taken them to where they are now.”
At this point, we are standing again to watch or watch and judge. To some of us, change is incomprehensible. But we don’t have to understand. More important, we can’t and shouldn’t, stop people who have dreams from following them. Everybody goes their own way, takes their own wave and sometimes we ride together. Experience is what makes us different. Pain, fear and negative thoughts can attack us, and occasionally we block. Old, more comfortable ways are endangered. Perceptions of what might happen override the ability to ride a new wave. Where does this misunderstanding of the unknown and abnormal come from? Why is there no place in the heart for acceptance?
“That doesn’t mean I need to have rainbow hair!” Sophie continues. “All our memories and emotions, everything becomes part of our own personality and occupies a special place in our heart. They shape and change you. You cannot stop it. Only ignorance and fear of the unknown stops people from doing it.”
‘Perhaps I am addicted to change and flowing on the course of times. It might be the taste of freedom which makes me to feel this way. There is more out there in the world. There are beautiful places in the world you have no idea of. Once you are travelling, many people report about the difficulty of going back home and reverting to the old ways. Move on whenever you want. If problems arise that are impossible to fix, just get on the plane.’
I thought about what she said. Perhaps it isn’t a decision to travel, but a drive to see the outside of boundaries, and a natural desire for freedom, expanse and adventure; a learning experience in desiring and finding change, and embracing it.
Change is happening
It does sound like running away when change does not fit or is it running towards? Or is this a tic which some people have that will never come to rest? How shall we deal with the course of time and when is it time to face the change? How do we find out when it’s time to surrender the urge to something else; something new, something distant?
After a while, do we find something for which it is worthwhile to remain, or do we get tired of travelling, or do we need to rest from time to time, before we make or embrace the next change?
Interpersonal relationships come into play. Connections have been made, and so have friendships, and emotions are part of everyday life.
‘There’s a time for everything.’ Sophie continued. ‘In the past, connections were made, which seemed so valuable. Then, circumstances arise and locations change. Even with being careful, the thing that you loved the most, then lays behind you and new unexpected situations require your attention. It happens so fast and you cannot stop it. New connections are made. Change is coming so quickly, you cannot stop it. However, it happens. Observingly, you are standing beside unbelieving, bewildered but in love to the fullest. How can some people get so fast into your heart? How do they find the direct way to gain your love? Nobody knows but this is real. Love is real. It is all a question of the right time and place, as time and place fit or simply do not fit. I cannot understand or describe it. The flow, it just goes on and on.
Then, I wonder how much change I can bear. But that’s life. It goes on and on. You cannot stop. You have to decide if you want to be happy or if you are wining.
Time does not wait. It just goes and takes every day with it although the two of us had so many plans. Where does the time go? Where to goes the time when it leaves? I never understood why we cannot follow it or get it back. Is it just gone? Maybe, if I am lucky I will find it on Easter, then I will ask what it actually does for pleasure.
Sophie tells me more about the little extremes of life, challenges, decisions, thrills that make you feel, you are alive.
“You sense life when you get to your limits. The moment when you breathe in deeply and then you just do it. People need that. Jump into the cold water and enjoy it. Ride your bike when the rain is the loudest and get chocolate ice cream! You are alive. And when I get on the plane by myself, going to the other side of the world, when I could puke because I am so excited, then I know, I am alive.”
Not all of us have to jump into cold water as Sophie but her message is clear. You cannot escape the course of time. Change is good and refreshing. Fear and lots of thinking often only creates problems. Being careful is always wise but freezing might make one miss a life-time chance or the right person for right now.
Here and Now
Then, I met Alex on the rooftops of the city. On the sun deck he talks about passions. He speaks about the moment and sweet presents of life.
“The moment you are experiencing, the here and now. When you suddenly realize that this is life. You feel the energy flowing through your body as you breathe in and out. You’re inhaling, breathing life and simply letting humans be humans. The thoughts are free and you are floating. Only your senses guide you.
You look far, overviewing the distance, the sun sets and illuminates the skyline of your city within the most beautiful light. It is gorgeous. You feel the moment and realize this is just perfect.
And then it’s over. The moment that had just taken your breath away has passed. You’re still watching it disappearing as the darkness of the night sinks over the city. ‘Come back!’ you may think. But life is progressing, already holding new moments ready, waiting for you.”
Alex’s eyes are shining. He is very excited almost as on intoxication.
“Nothing stops the course of things and we are right in the middle.” he says. “Let the moment pass. Let him go, otherwise you will miss another. Beauty is ever-present. You just have to open your eyes. Life is so diverse offering thousands of adventures. You cannot see what is happening right in front of you if you keep looking back. Don’t look back you are not going that way. If you let go, you can let happen again, so let go!”
He is thrilled. If he was a Phoenix, he would surely have burst into flames. I have to smile, but I know he’s right. Be happy and if you’re not, change something, he intends to tell me. Often, that’s easily said but actions seem harder in real life.
Change can come stormily without warning and can kick you off the ground. A painful act when you are standing, seemingly unshakeable, and suddenly shaken. When a person is not ready and too much into known ways, change can hit very hard. If you move freely around this world and see things for yourself, you may be moving on grass or clouds and change will not hurt you, it will not overpower you.
Be ready. Change comes to you, too. It comes for sure.